This is the fifteenth story in the Rewriting History series, and it follows Kiss Me Like The Ocean Breeze. It tried to get angsty, but I wrestled Curt for control. I think I won. Unabashed mush. ;) Oh, and thanks to Hansi for the idea about Curt's eyeliner. ;)

Warnings: m/m, angst (just a little), AU, occasional bad language. No spoilers for the movie. But I did borrow a line from a song from Moulin Rouge. Ewan fans will know what I mean. ;)

~Silk

*****

Swear You're Gonna Feel My Hand

By Silk

"Are you packed?"

"Not yet. Why?" Brian frowned at his lover.

"Just thought I'd get a head start. After all, we're leaving in the morning," Curt replied, his voice low yet somehow vaguely disaffected.

"It's not like we brought all that much, Curt." Brian studied Curt's profile and decided that he was hiding behind that mutinously set mask again, the one that said, It's my head and you can stay out of it, fuck you very much.

"Right," Curt said tersely.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Curt answered with such violence that Brian winced.

"Sounds like something to me."

"Yeah, well, maybe you don't hear so well, man," Curt muttered.

Acting on instinct, Brian moved closer and braced his hands on Curt's shoulders. He felt a fine tremor working its way to the surface of Curt's skin, and without thinking, Brian pressed his lips to a spot to the side of his left hand. Curt didn't say anything. He merely closed his eyes and swayed slightly on his feet. The exhilarating mixture of desire and compassion that permeated Brian's caress sang its way straight to Curt's heart.

"You don't play fair, babe," Curt groaned.

"I don't play at all," Brian said somberly. "Not anymore. Not with *you*."

There was something akin to awe in Curt's eyes at that revelation, and Brian forced himself not to look away this time.

"You'd better memorize what I'm going to say to you now...cause I'm not sure you'll ever hear this from me again...." Brian's attempt to sound light-hearted failed, and he sighed in frustration.

And then, everything he felt, everything he *wanted* Curt to know, was there suddenly, in his face and on his lips.

"These past few days have meant everything to me, Curt," Brian whispered. "I've never felt like this before. I think..." Brian bit his lip, and it was all Curt could do not to kiss him. Seeing Brian this accessible, this *vulnerable*, as though a cross word from Curt was all it would take to strike him down, was a memory Curt would indeed cherish.

"I think..." Brian began again, "...I've never been happy." Brian's thumb rubbed the place he'd kissed on Curt's shoulder over and over. "But you..." Brian continued with maddening and uncharacteristic hesitancy, "...make me happy."

"I don't know how, Bri. I'm such a moody son of a bitch-"

"I love you."

"It's that simple for you? When I'm such a complicated fuck?"

"Oh, God, Curt, I *love* you. With all your moods *and* your complications." Brian found a smile he wasn't wearing and gave it to Curt.

"Besides," Brian added softly, "I'm about as complicated as they come myself."

"I *like* complicated," Curt echoed. "But I *love* you, babe."

Curt allowed himself to be pulled into Brian's arms and rested his head on Brian's shoulder. Closing his eyes with a deep sigh, Curt said, "I don't know what I'm so fucking afraid of, Bri. But I am."

Brian said nothing. But he stroked Curt's hair until he felt the tension completely leave his lover's body.

When Curt spoke again, his voice was a sensual growl. "I wish we could stay here forever."

"You don't want to go back."

Curt raised his head and looked directly into Brian's eyes. "I don't want things to *change*."

"Why would they? Curt, we're closer than we were when we left London."

"It won't be the same, Brian."

"*We'll* be the same, Curt."

"No, we won't," Curt said bleakly. "Jerry doesn't want us to be together. Not really. Neither does Mandy."

"They don't matter."

"You can say that now because we're here, not there. But when we go back-"

Brian silenced Curt with a kiss. Curt didn't want to respond. He could feel his earlier anxiety, as vague as it was, returning, and he wanted to stay focused. But when Brian kissed him, he couldn't keep from kissing him back, distracted as always by the intensity of the love that bound them together.

Curt raked a hand through his hair. "Man, this *must* be love. Neither one of us is wearing any make-up, and you even slept with me when I wasn't wearing any eyeliner. I wonder what that means."

Brian entwined his fingers with Curt's before running them lightly under his hair to caress his neck. "Maybe it's the end of the world as we know it."

"The death of glitter?"

In unison, they shook their heads. "Nah."

"Maybe we're just...growing up, Bri."

"Do we have to?"

"I think that's my line."

Reluctant to let go of Curt, Brian sat down on the bed, pulling Curt onto his lap. "Ummm...I'm a little big for this, babe."

"You'll never be too big for me to hold you, Curt," Brian whispered against his cheek.

"You're scaring me, Bri. Am I dying or something?"

"I've got something for you," Brian said with a coy half-smile that was utterly disarming.

Curt chuckled and licked Brian's mouth. "I know, babe. I can feel it," he whispered, sliding a hand between Brian's legs.

"Mmm...you're distracting me."

"Payback's such a bitch, baby," Curt said softly, taking Brian's bottom lip between his teeth. Brian groaned and wound his hands through Curt's shoulder-length hair. "Curt..."

"I want to vanish inside your kiss," Curt whispered. Brian thought it was quite probably the most beautiful thing that anyone had ever said to him.

"You keep speaking to me in song lyrics, Curt. You're breaking my heart," Brian murmured, feeling close to tears.

"Never." It didn't matter that Curt's voice didn't reach above a whisper. It was a vow that would connect the two of them for as long as they lived.

Brian reached into the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out the faux emerald pin that he constantly wore. "This..." he said, indicating the green ornament, "came to me through Jack Fairy."

Brian didn't mention that he had stolen the pin. He preferred to think of it as acquiring it. One heartfelt kiss and Jack was completely undone. Enough that he didn't realize that his precious trinket was missing until well after Brian left.

But if the pin was never truly Brian's, now it would be Curt's. It was the one thing of value that Brian had. It wasn't real. But Curt was. And now Curt would own it in a way that Brian couldn't because its magic lay in being freely given.

Or so Brian chose to believe.

"I want you to have it."

"But Brian...this is yours, man. I couldn't take it. It wouldn't be right."

"Curt..." Brian pried open Curt's hand and placed the gem in the center of his palm. Then he carefully closed Curt's fingers around it. "I can't give you my name...or a ring. But I want you to keep this and wear it and-" Brian struggled with the rest of what he needed to say, and Curt smiled, feeling the stone grow warm inside his hand.

"...think of me. Always," Brian finished hoarsely.

"I will."

They sank down onto the mattress, their limbs intertwined. Curt whispered words of love into Brian's ear as he took him, never losing sight of the pin that remained clenched tightly in his right hand. When Brian sighed his release, Curt followed him over the edge. Afterwards, they lay in each other's arms, panting but not yet sated.

Curt gingerly opened his hand, and he could swear the green pin winked at him.

He blinked before glancing at the man entangled in his snug embrace. "Did you see that, Bri?"

"I knew it would be magic in your hands, Curt," Brian declared, his eyes softening as they took in Curt's beloved face.

"So are you, baby," Curt said with a rakish grin.

"Only with you, Curt."

Brian groaned appreciatively when Curt kissed him. Maybe going back wouldn't be so bad after all. At least they had each other.

End