This is the forty-ninth story in the RH series, and it follows Two Heartbeats.

It felt good to finally write this. It's been kicking around my head for eons now, and it finally made its way to the surface. As it happens, it's nine pages long, so I guess taking a short break actually helped. ;) What makes it so long, however, are the song lyrics. Yes, I am now hopelessly addicted to them. Oh, and this has the intensity of a really angsty read, but without the angst itself. To be honest, it's...um...mush. :eek

Anyway, only one more to go, and this series is done. Sniffle...

Warnings: m/m, AU, mush, song lyrics, occasional bad language.

The songs used here are: Highway Kind by Townes Van Zandt, Lie to Me by Bon Jovi, Who Loves You Better by Lyle Lovett, and Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel. Quite an eclectic mix. ;) In some cases, the songs have been edited, but no words have been changed, merely deleted.

My thanks to Mali for the drive-by beta, not to mention all those song lyrics. (Well, not all. Some of them are my fault completely. :lol )

~Silk

*****

Memory Lingers Ever


By Silk



When Jack finished, he blew a kiss to the crowd and waved. "There's someone hanging about in the wings. I wonder who it could be. Perhaps if you clap really loud...you can persuade him to come on out here and sing."

The audience responded noisily, and Jack grinned. "I...can't...hear...you."

The cheering escalated. "That's a little better."

"Curt? Is that you?" Jack shouted into the wings, acting as though he were straining to see someone very, very far away.

Curt shook his head at Jack's unbridled theatricality. He was on tonight. Curt started to walk forward, but Brian snagged his wrist at the last moment. "Curt..."

"Yeah, babe?"

"I think I'm scared," Brian blurted out suddenly.

"Don't be," Curt said softly, leaning in to give him a kiss. As he drew away, he frowned. Brian's lips really were cold. "Hey...you can always kneel at my feet the way Arthur's doing for Jack. After all, I am something of a god, y'know."

That coaxed a tentative smile out of his lover. "You are. You always were."

Curt nuzzled Brian's neck affectionately. "Oh, the cheap things you say to me." With a sigh, Curt reluctantly broke away from Brian. "I love you. Remember that, okay?"

Brian visibly relaxed. "I think I can manage that much."

"Good. Let's do it."

*****

Curt ran onstage, Brian close on his heels. Jack gathered him into a big hug and used the opportunity to wish him luck in his own inimitable way. "Knock 'em dead, kiddo," Jack whispered in Curt's ear.

Curt flashed Jack his trademark smile. That smile was lethal. One of Curt's best attributes was his apparently innate ability to project both rampant sensuality and charming vulnerability at the same time. As Brian was fond of reminding him, sometimes you didn't know whether to fuck him or hug him.

As Curt grabbed the mike, he cast a sidelong glance at Brian. The younger man was enveloped by Jack in fullblown fairy godmother mode. That made him smile. Jack always knew what to say or do. He was sure that if Jack hadn't come along when he did, he wouldn't be here. Nor would Brian. They both owed Jack a debt of gratitude.

But Jack collected on that debt every single time they were together. Curt thought fondly, For all of his nonsense, he's probably the most real of all of us.

When the audience quieted down, Curt gazed out at the sea of faces. "Hi."

There was a rising crescendo of sound, the like of which Curt had never heard. "Um...thanks."

The crowd thrust their arms into the air, and suddenly there were flailing limbs in every direction as far as the eye could see. "Aw...come on now," Curt said, "you wanna hear me sing, don't you?"

From the way they screamed and chanted Curt's name, there was a distinct possibility that they wouldn't mind simply staring at him and his black leather for the duration of the concert. He cocked his hip at an angle, which only served to stretch the buttery material even more tautly across his thighs. "You guys are too much," Curt said with a husky chuckle.

With his customary feral grace, Curt spread his legs wider apart. He could feel Brian hovering expectantly at his side. It took all he could do not to pull Brian into his arms and murmur velvety reassurance against those cool lips. "In case you're wondering...no, the new man in my life is not Jack. You think I'm crazy? Arthur would kill me."

The audience laughed, and that broke some of the tension that was crippling Brian. "This is Tommy Stone. I imported him from Ireland. Got a good deal, too. I think I'll keep him."

The crowd roared its approval, and Brian finally found the courage to speak. "It's a pleasure being Curt Wild's kept man."

Curt nudged his shoulder playfully. "That's a pleasure reserved for very few."

Brian glared at him with his kohl-lined blue eyes. "It'd better be a pleasure reserved only for me."

"I stand corrected," Curt said, a mischievous glint in his blue-gray eyes that couldn't be seen beyond the first row.

"Good. See that you stay that way," Brian said, his Irish accent suddenly even more pronounced.

"You're gonna make me regret taking an Irishman to bed, huh?" Curt countered, a saucy grin transforming his face.

"The only thing you're going to regret is that you didn't meet me sooner." Brian stuck his tongue out at Curt, and Curt almost collapsed laughing. Brian, er, Tommy, had gotten over his nerves with a vengeance, and Curt was paying for it. But he didn't mind one bit. For the first time in a long time, he was enjoying every minute of the show, not just the parts where he sang.

Curt bent his head and whispered conspiratorially in his ear. "Are you sure you're not really an Irishman in disguise?"

Brian laughed and lightheartedly licked a spot on Curt's jaw. "Be good."

"I'm always good, baby," Curt replied, a seductive throb in his voice that the mike picked up and amplified. The audience clearly agreed with him.

Curt dropped his hand, and the back-up band started to play the strains of the first song. That was their pre-arranged signal. Brian stepped back and bent down to pick up his guitar, but Curt was reluctant to let him go. Their fingers brushed together before they parted, and Curt was slightly amazed that there were no sparks where they touched.

"I'm gonna sing to you," Curt whispered, so low that only Brian could hear him. Brian shivered inwardly. This felt very different from all the countless times they'd shared a stage before. They were different. It felt like Curt was physically stroking him in places only he knew about. It felt strangely intimate despite the presence of a couple thousand spectators.

It was like making love.

"Lie to me," Curt said, and it was a plea as well as a mournful noise. Brian knew it was the title of Curt's first song, but it echoed throughout his body for several seconds before taking up residence in his heart.

Tell me baby, is this as good as life is gonna get
It feels like there's a stranger standing in these shoes
But I know I can't lose me, 'cause then I'd be losing you

I know I promised, baby,
I would be the one to make our dreams come true
I ain't too proud of all the struggles
and the hard times we've been through
When this cold world comes between us,
please tell me you'll be brave
'Cause I can realize the danger when forgiveness fades away

If you don't love me-lie to me
'Cause baby, you're the one thing I believe
Let it all fall down around us, if that's
what's meant to be
Right now if you don't love me, baby-lie to me

Pour another cup of coffee, babe,
I got something to say to you, I ain't got the winning ticket,
not the one that's gonna pull us through
No one said that it'd be easy, let your old man take you home
But know that if you walk out on me that darling,
I'd be gone

If you don't love me-lie to me
'Cause baby, you're the one thing I believe
Let it all fall down around us, if that's what's meant to be
Right now if you can't love me-lie to me
Baby, I can take it

It's a bitch, but life's a roller coaster ride
The ups and downs will make you scream sometimes
It's hard believing that the thrill is gone
But we got to go around again, so let's hold on

If you don't love me-lie to me
'Cause baby, you're the one thing I believe
Let it all fall down around us,
if that's what's meant to be
Right now if you can't love me baby-lie to me, lie to me
Baby, I can take it
C'mon, lie to me...


When it was over, Curt stood face to face with Brian, his expressive eyes reflective. That was when Brian knew that somehow, they had passed a test. No matter what obstacles still lay ahead, they couldn't help but overcome them. If they stayed together. And for the first time since they had found each other again, Brian truly believed that they would. Always and forever.

Whether or not the audience was actually aware of the subtext underlying the lyrics was hard to tell. But it didn't matter. Curt was speaking directly to Brian's heart, and he heard him. Brian made a great show of studying the strings of his guitar, his head bowed, long hair falling into and over his face, and Curt allowed him that, knowing that his lover's feelings were dangerously close to the surface. Hide, baby, Curt thought, but I will always come and get you.

"Hey, beautiful," Curt said in his distinctive growl. "You still with me?"

Brian jerked his head up sharply, his eyes blazing with the most incredible blue fire. "Always." If Curt was surprised by the intensity he saw there, he didn't show it. Instead he accepted it for what it really was. A vow.

"Hot as a pistol and he can sing, too," Curt told the crowd, his light eyes gleaming with appreciation.

Curt settled on the stool that one of the roadies had brought out and waited patiently for Brian to return the favor by singing to him. Brian averted his face with uncharacteristic shyness, unable to address the audience directly. He could get through this if he sang only to Curt, but the words already threatened to choke him.

" Highway Kind," he whispered, not even trying to speak into the mike.

My days they are the highway kind,
They only come to leave,
But the leaving I don't mind
It's the coming that I crave,
Pour the sun upon the ground,
Stand to throw a shadow,
Watch it grow into the night
And fill the spinning sky.

Time among the pine trees,
It felt like breath of air,
Usually I just walk these streets
And tell myself to care;
Sometimes I believe me,
Sometimes I don't hear,
Sometimes the shape I'm in
Won't let me go.

I don't know too much for truth,
But my heart knows how to pound,
My legs know how to love someone,
My voice knows how to sound;
It's a shame that it's not enough,
It's a shame that it is a shame,
Follow the circle down,
Where would you be?

You're the only one I want,
I've never heard your name,
Let's hope we meet someday,
If we don't, it's all the same.
And I'll meet the ones between us,
And be thinking about you,
And all the places I have seen,
And why you were not there.


As Brian's voice died away, Curt was mesmerized. By what he had said. By what he hadn't said. Brian had always been more complicated than he was. But now he was in awe of his lover's growing depth and insight.

On the pretext of giving him a hug, Curt whispered, "You did good, babe," and brushed Brian's ear with his lips. That there was something between them was easy for the audience to guess. That there was something more than casual sex involved was becoming increasingly clear. These two weren't just lovers; they were mates on a level that went beyond what the eye could see.

The audience accepted Brian, and not simply because of his obvious attachment to Curt. Brian Slade had given up his life so that Tommy Stone could live. Tommy won their hearts in a way that Brian couldn't have, not because he was better, but because he'd left behind the emotional baggage that had hobbled his alter ego for so long.

"I can make you a star, baby," Curt said with a laugh. Brian blushed and hid his face against Curt's shoulder. "I think I've already been there."

"Yeah, but not with me."

"Should I sing one more?" Brian asked tentatively.

"Only if you sit in my lap," Curt teased.

"I dunno..." Brian turned to the audience with a coy smile. "Should I?"

"Go for it!" one particularly cheeky young man shouted out from the second row. Brian winked, and Curt's familiar rasp rumbled in his ear as the older man lifted him into his lap. "Watch that stuff. I might get jealous."

"Ha!" Brian retorted, but he squeezed Curt's fingers to reassure him.

Who loves you better
Late nights in musty motel rooms
Stale lives left by someone else
White lies I wish I could tell you
And questions I ask of myself

Why do I do the things that make me sorry
Why do I do the things that make you cry
Will I lose your love to another
Who loves you better than I

The angels smile when you're praying
But the devil laughs when you lie
And some things they go without saying
When tears fill up your eyes

Why do I do the things that make me sorry
Why do I do the things that make you cry
Will I lose your love to another
Who loves you better than I

Some questions beg for an answer
Like a poet begs for a rhyme
Somehow all I can remember
Is holding your hand in mine

Late nights in musty motel rooms
Stale lives left all alone
He's telling you how he wants you
And I'm praying he doesn't know

Why I do the things that make me sorry
Why I do the things that make you cry
If I could lose your love to another
Who loves you better than I
Who loves you better than I


As the song slowly came to an end, Brian wound his arms around Curt's neck, ostensibly to keep himself from falling off his lap. But they knew better. They could no more resist touching each other than they could fly. Brian looked intently into Curt's blue-gray eyes and murmured, "Who loves you better than I?"

After several heartfelt moments, Brian wiggled slightly in an effort to escape Curt's embrace, but Curt whispered, "Don't go."

Wrapping his arms around Brian, Curt pulled him back against his chest and nuzzled the top of his head. "Think you can stand to sing with me?"

Brian relaxed against him and sighed. "As long as you hold onto me."

Echoing Brian's earlier words, Curt said only, "Always."

" Don't Give Up."

we grew up strong
we were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

no fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
but no one wants you when you lose

don't give up
'cos you have friends
don't give up
you're not beaten yet
don't give up
I know you can make it good

though I saw it all around
never thought I could be affected
thought that we'd be the last to go
it is so strange the way things turn

don't give up
you still have us
don't give up
we don't need much of anything
don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
where we belong

rest your head
you worry too much
it's going to be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don't give up
please don't give up

'got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
going to stand on that bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river's flowing
that river's flowing

don't give up
'cause you have friends
don't give up
you're not the only one
don't give up
no reason to be ashamed
don't give up
you still have us
don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
there's a place where we belong


Whatever they had been once, separately, they were now far more powerful, together.

They sang to each other, they sang for each other, and finally, they sang the same words because they felt the same things.

"Don't give up, baby. Don't you ever give up. Cause I'm right here where I'm always gonna be. And I love you."

That was Curt's hoarsely whispered promise to Brian.

Brian answered it by laying his head on Curt's shoulder and closing his eyes. He scarcely heard the roar of the crowd as he surreptitiously pressed his lips to his lover's bare skin there. Mine.

End