*steerpike getting dressed in the morning, his monkey on his shoulder*

"I thiniiiink I'll go with.....the black. Yes, that's it..."

To Gertrude:
"Nice hair. Ever find any spiders in it?"

To Flay:
"Yea, it's just 'lather, rinse, repeat'..."

To Lady Fuschia, upon reading her "I am Fuschia; I am me;" wall poem:
"Keep the day job, Babe."

To Swelter:
"No, really...they have them now. They're called "dentists."

To Lord Groan:
"What's the economy of Gormenghast based on, anyway? Do you guys do any trading, importing, manufacturing? What?"
(ok, so they aren't all funny. I was just curious about that one myself)

All up in teenaged Titus' face, in a hidden corner of the castle:
"Listen, you little violet-eyed freak...mess with me and Fushia and there won't be any 78th heir...*twirling swordstick, quick slashing motion near Titus' crotch.*
You take my meaning?"

Daphne